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For those of you who are mothers and have another job, how do you find balance?
///// From an interview with Anna Quindlen over at momfilter
posted on April 21st, 2011
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I don't have kids yet, but I definitely worry about how I am going to find a balance between family and work life. I will be checking back to see what advice you get!
that makes me think of my favorite quote on motherhood, also by anna quindlen,
"but the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. this is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. there is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. and I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less."
Oh, I love that quote, too. Such a good one.
And Julie – It was definitely my biggest concern about having kids. Now that I have one, it's still a dilemma, but the joy she brings into my life vastly overshadows any concerns about balance. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I didn't need to worry as much as I did.
balance? what's that? it's really hard. my daughter is a complete joy, and on the days that i work and come home exhausted i really worry that i don't have enough to give her. i just try to soak up every little thing when i can. it's too bad we can't have them when we're retired. i guess that's why grandparenting is so fun.
Eva, life is too short with too much uncertainty to not cherish our kids. Take your time, be present in the moment. You will be amazed at how quick the time flies when you do have kids. All of a sudden you realize it's been 3 years and they are off to preschool and then they are off to school and you start getting your time back and work again becomes more manageable. It will all be ok! Trust the inner voice inside that tells you it's ok to have your kids be number 1. The relationship you build with Ingrid early on will be so very important for her as she grows up too. I keep getting glimpses of what the teenage years are going to be like in my 8 almost 9 year old. Man am I ever glad he still thinks his mom is the best mom in the world right now!!Hugs, heather
This is so true. My daughter is on the cusp of turning 13, and it seems like she was just starting kindergarten. Work will always be there… Their childhood zips by, and they remember all the little moments spent together taking walks, bike rides and picnics outside (and so will you!)
Or they'll want to go to grandpa's house so you can "get your letterpress done". Balance is hard, and there are sacrifices that have to be made but as long as there is love and you prioritize the best that you can, your children will love you and cherish the memories you make together. If I have to do a drop at the PO for work, we take a stop at the park. If a lot of printing needs to get done during the day I try to make sure we make up for it that night with good story telling or movie night or game night.
If anything, your kids will learn that you know how to work hard and make the best with what you've got!
Emily – Yes, I'm starting to see why grandparenting is so fun, too. As moms, we all worry, but I'm sure your little girl is getting the best love and care from you.
Heather – As always, such good advice. You are one of my mothering role models!
Laurie – Wow, 13… I'm sure it's just around the corner! You're right — the "little moments" are so important.
Adrienne – I'm so looking forward to things like movie night, game night, and storytelling when Ingrid's a little bit older. And I totally agree that it's important to teach kids about hard work, and especially by example. You're doing a really good job of that!
The dishes don't get done around here much. 😉 Seriously, I fell like there is so little time once I get home from work before it's time to get ready for bed. So I just spend most of those moments enjoying my daughter. If the dishes don't get done, so be it. If we have to order take out, so be it. These are not things I will care about in 10 years. But still, it's hard. I also think it's important to have some time to myself so I always get up early, before everyone else. It's a great way for me to get the day started on the right foot. I really love that quote.
Bronwyn – You're right. In 10 years, neither you or your daughter are going to care whether or not there were dirty dishes in the sink. But you will be so grateful for all your memories of time spent together. And that's so great you take some time for yourself every day, too. I have to have that, too. It keeps me sane…
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